Stopping smoking/ my addiction
I have been a smoker for about 4 years now. I may not have any feelings to stop right now as I feel smoking has become a part of who I am but I do remember a time not so long ago when I had my first attempt at kicking the habit. It all started when I first started smoking by stealing a couple of my dad’s cigarettes which I would then smoke at school to act cool in front of my friends (like many early smokers). But at the back of my mind I always remembered my limit which was to only smoke on rare occasions and not to become addicted. I felt like the smartest person alive who thought he could beat cigarette addiction before the horrible habit locked me in shackles forever. This went on for a long time where I would contradict myself by smoking but not seeing myself as a proper smoker and the little voice at the back of my mind that would say “Don’t overdo it” would start to fade away.
It didn’t take too long for me to go into denial about my newfound habit as I would walk up to school in the morning puffing away thinking it was fine “because I’m only doing it to give me something to do while I’m walking.” I started to find something very warm and comforting about striking a cigarette to give it that cherry red ember then taking that smooth first drag from it. The term ‘addiction’ started to make little sense to me because I used to think if someone was addicted to a habit they would constantly have something at the back of their mind rattling away craving for more. Yet here I am smoking something which takes people great amounts of will power to overcome but still feel certain that I can stop anytime easily, I was so naïve.
I put it to the test by stopping my on/off relationship with cigarettes and planned to stay away from them to prove how easy it was. At home I had no problem worrying about smoking because I always had something to keep my mind otherwise occupied. I felt I had already proven my case. At school it was a...